intersection of me-spaces in a consensual digital reality
The midnight disease is a kind of emotional insomnia; at every conscious moment its victim - even if he or she writes at dawn, or in the middle of the afternoon - feels like a person lying in a sweltering bedroom, with the window thrown open, looking up at a sky filled with stars and airplanes, listening to the narrative of a rattling blind, an ambulance, a fly trapped in a Coke bottle, while all around him the neighbors soundly sleep.
— from Michael Chabon’s Wonder Boys
i had great experiences playing DDR when i was younger. i actually lost something like 10-15 lbs in middle/high school playing.
(this is actually not DDR but a korean game pump it up which seems to be much better)
me: what did the buddha say to the pizza vendor?
me: can you get RSA for anything?
me: sweet i got paid
abe: what the FUCK are you talking about
abe: fucking ADHD mother fucker
me: make me one with everything
leather bound notebook and quill pen
because…you know, i think i’m indiana jones (fedora and notebook, not keyboard and shoes)
I just watched the beginning of Marvel Studios’ penultimate summer before the nerdstravagance that is The Avengers movie: Kenneth Branagh’s “Thor” starring Chris Hemsworth and Natalie Portman. Was it worth the 80% or so it’s currently receiving on Rotten Tomatoes? Short answer: yes.
After leaving the theatre I felt much the same way I did after I had finished watching Bryan Singer’s “Superman Returns.” I was a little awed, somewhat impressed, quite speechless, kinda hungry… While Thor isn’t the magnum opus that The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2 was, or the blockbuster crowd pleaser that was Iron Man, it does manage to be one thing - a solid superhero movie. This might seem strange with the recent slew of comic book movies we’ve been getting as of late, but I think movies like Thor and Superman Returns draw a very distinct line between a “comic book movie” and a “superhero movie.” For example: you have movies like Unbreakable or Law Abiding Citizen which are not based on comic book properties but have a very distinct superhero-ish feel to it (with Law Abiding Citizen of course being a superVILLAIN movie - which made it AWESOME, by the way).
The one big action set piece of the film - the battle with the dastardly Frost Giants - I wanted SO BADLY to liike, and there were bits in there that were genuinely exciting and awesome. But in the end, it was just a very very DIM CG fest that I felt was only necessary to show off just how frigging MIGHTY (read: overpowered) Superman Thor really is.
Wow. I actually typed out “Superman” without thinking about it. I don’t know whether it was the theatre I was in or if that scene really IS that dark, but I could barely make out what was happening. I know Jotunheim is supposed to be this land of cold and darkness, but it was SO DARK I could barely make out what was happening half the time. I suspect this has more to do with hiding rushed visual effects and a post-production 3D conversion…YEECH. What Thor lacks in whizbang HOLY SHIT! moments and ludicrious 20 minute long action scenes (ala the Incredible Hulk) it more than makes up in heart - a solid, golden, Asgardian, thick meaty engine of a heart in the form of Chris Hemsworth’s Thor: A lovable oaf of a hero who is arrogant, quick tempered and who you’re sure is to learn a hard lesson before the film’s end. Indeed, Thor’s classic Hero’s Quest, while being your fairly standard affair, is given life by Hemsworth, Portman and all of the supporting cast.
On top of all this, Kenneth Branagh is able to make Asgardian politics and family dynamics downright Shakespearean, pulling out great performances from Tom Hiddleston’s Loki (who I’m sure will be one of the big bad’s in The Avengers) and Anthony Hopkins’ Odin. I regard all of the scenes in Asgard to be some of the best in the film; the otherworldly set design and incredibly beautiful CG vistas that were created for the film are able to bring a very high-fantasy feeling for what is essentially a science fiction film. In a move that is almost the polar opposite of previous Marvel outings Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, stars, galaxies and wormholes are made to appear exactly how they should be: magical.
I was worried that the outwardly magical appearance of Thor and Asgard would not fit so nicely into the Marvel Movie Universe, but they were to handle this movie in a way that made it feasible, if at times hilariously ridiculous. This is a strategy that I have to think was done on purpose only for the sole reason that there was no way to put the Norse God of Thunder side by side with Iron Man, The Hulk and Captain America WITHOUT people laughing at how awkward and silly it is. But, somehow it works and even though we have these hilariously cheesy scenes of Thor flying over New Mexico we can still cheer for him because he’s just so damn likable.
I just finished watching How to Train Your Dragon. I can’t believe I didn’t see it in theatres. It was able to impress on me something I haven’t felt in a long time while watching an animated film - absolute breathtaking joy at the miracle of flight. The last time must have been in Aladdin with the magic carpet; How to Train Your Dragon was like if they gave carpet cute anime eyes and the ability to shoot laser beams out of its mouth.
Anyways, back to miracle of flight. It’s been a long standing hope of mine that we will one day be able to achieve “machine-less flight” that is, flight where we don’t have to rely on the power of machines to get us off the ground or keep us in the air. As of right now the only thing I can think of that comes close is the hang glider, but that is really just, as Buzz Lightyear would say, “falling with style.”
After one of the glorious dragon flight scenes in HTTYD, I paused the movie and did a google search and was surprised to see that “machineless flight” had only 6 results. Is there something else that it might be called? As I currently don’t have a hang glider, or a wing suit, or really the balls to use either, I’ll have to stick with just biking really fast and letting the wind blow through my hair. My imagination can take care of the rest.
i have some…
ruminations
on the nature of “good and evil” in the universe
chaos and entropy
and order
in relation to sapience
we can naively assume that the primeval, instinctual nature of man is evil
base desires
wanton lust and hunger
if one assumes this, then naturally the polar opposite would be the thinking, conscious animal that is modern man
ape man = evil, modern man = good
and that all the evil of modern man stems from him giving into his primal instincts
jealously, murder, rage, etc
though i think this is very much a naive way of thinking
it’s not the primal nature of humans that is the wellspring of evil
and it’s not the thinking sense that makes them good
but rather it’s the point where the two conflict that spawns both “good” and “evil”
concepts that i think on a universal scale are either non-existent or irrelevant
is life tailored for consciousness?
that is, is consciousness a guiding principle in the evolution of lifeforms?
of course not
otherwise we’d have multiple sapient lifeforms on earth
i suppose you can assign each life form on some kind of spectra, but that’s besides the point
what i’m trying to say is that as conscious, thinking animals we are in a unique position where we can reflect on our instinctual natures
we have “metacognitive faculties” - we can think about thinking/acting/feeling
and out of this duality the concepts of good and evil are formed
now…what i was saying about these concepts being nonexistent
well, on a grand scale
i believe that the universe is naturally “falling” toward chaos
increased entropy
all that good thermo stuff
but that SAPIENCE is actually an “anti-entropic” force as it were
so hence, we have two opposing forces in the universe
they are not necessarily good and evil
not by a long shot
because entropy in nature
and in the universe
can be defined as nature
that it is the NATURE of the universe to increase in entropy
and the natural state of things cannot be said to be either good or evil
Summer of Love by Saiman Chow
i present to you Barlee the Dog
Transformers 2 was probably one of the worst reviewed movies of 2009, but it also made upwards of 0.8 billion dollars worldwide. Why? A friend of mine recently told me “The people have spoken. And the people want more BAYSPLOSIONS.”
I’m a big fan of The Rock, Armageddon (yes I know) and Bad Boys 2 (also, again, yes I know). These are big, fun action movies with one-dimensional yet memorable characters who get into outrageous situations and then shoot or pose their way out of said outrageous situations. Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen was pretty much the same thing, only instead of people there are robots. Big Damn Robots. And also Shia LaBeouf. If you’ve ever seen A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints or Disturbia you know that LaBeouf has an “Indie” side to him that he’s clearly not showing in the Transformers franchise. So this means he’s either an incredibly good actor that can swing both ways or a sell-out. My money is on sell-out, but shit, who WOULDN’T jump on the opportunity to work with Steven-Frickin-Speilberg and Harrison Ford on an INDIANA JONES movie. LaBeouf was -5 years old when Raiders came out so to him (and also to everyone else in my generation) this is the SHIT OF LEGENDS. Also LaBeouf is dating Carey Mulligan IRL. High-five dude. Sally Sparrow is DOPE. She can ride my TARDIS any da-
But I digress. Shia LaBeouf was one of the things about Transformers 2 that sucked and he pretty much admitted to it himself. My sole purpose for writing this is to focus on what was actually good about the movie. Don’t get me wrong, I’m with the majority of people hopping on the “Transformers Hate Bus.” I just recently watched the movie expecting it to be the horrible mess that everyone painted it to be and came out pretty overwhelmed…. Overwhelmed that Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen was about 1/3 awesome robot fighting action and 3/4 horribleness (and not the good horribleness that the Good Horrible Doctor has a PHD in).
The Robot Fighting Action (RFA) this time around was punctuated by cliched slow-mo bullet-time esque shots of Transformers doing awesome flips through the air to try and one-up their opponents by landing behind them to stab something through their back, whether it be a sword or staff of evil or fist (all these things happened in the movie…OMG SPOILER!) While you would expect robots to fight like robots (WTF does that mean exactly?) the Transformers actually fight like people who are trained in some kind of weird Cybertronian MMA. People who have guns as fists and can turn into jets and monster trucks and shit.
Now in principle, all this RFA sounds and actually IS quite awesome to behold and I actually thought that director Michael Bay did a great job of combining some of the human actors into these outrageous scenes. “Combining” in this sense really means having them cower behind a log as the action unfolds above them. You truly get a sense of scale of the action when this happens and I’m sure somewhere in that imagery you’re supposed to see that we’re just tiny bugs in some big cosmic civil war blah blah blah, then Optimus Prime shreds some Decepticon goon’s head into a million pieces and you point at the screen and yell “FUCK YEAH!” So I guess imagery lost…but in the movie’s defense there are cool tracking shots of the Autobots + Duhamel/Gibbons’ combined fighting force vs. a SHIT TON of Decepticons. I thought it was cool that the Autobots were there just like all the other soldiers, shooting and taking cover but just not dying as often as the humans. It was almost like an RTS where you have your footies and riflemen move in to cover your heroes and when your heroes start dying you can micro them out or use a TP to….okay I’ll stop.
Another point the movie excelled at that I think may have been lost on some people, was how it subtly evoked the post-war mentality of the global socio-political theatre. LOL I just…I can’t…LOL.
But Seriously. Check It. Spoilers Ahead (not that any of you care). The Fallen and the Decepticons’ main goal in the movie is to solve Cybertron’s Energon Crisis. It’s revealed that there was a machine hidden on Earth thousands of years ago that can convert the Sun into pure energon. Suffice it to say, that would most likely solve Cybertron’s Energon problems; however, the catch is that there are humans living on Earth and Optimus’ Prime’s ancestors vowed never to use the machine on a planet inhabited with life (I’m guessing sapient life). The Fallen disagreed and this is apparently how the Civil War started. Sam (Shia LaBeouf) has in his head the key to finding the key to this machine (The Matrix of Leadership) and everyone except the Autobots want him dead for one reason or another. Obviously, killing him is the best solution as we wouldn’t have to put up with his annoying shit for another movie and also that would save the world, but that would be boring or something.
So OBVIOUSLY (right haha) Sam and humanity represent the innocents whose blood is shed in our bid to secure dwindling natural resources in the world. The Fallen represents global superpowers who don’t care who gets hurt as long as their fuel needs are met, and Optimus Prime is the alternative solution to bringing war to third world countries. Just what this “alternative solution” is in the real world, who knows, but I hope it’s found quick. The sudden and rather undramatic resurrection of Megatron is indicative of how deeply our avarice runs. No matter how far down we bury it, or however bad we mess up his face, that greedy power hungry bastard will arise from the depths to fuck things up and kill Optimus. But, in true renewable resource fashion, Optimus comes back to life, RECYCLES PARTS FROM AN OLD TRANSFORMER (how’s that for being environmentally conscious) and saves the Earth! YAY!
Cue standing-O from the audience, Michael Bay posing with his arms crossed in radiant pride and Kurtzman and Orci bowing their heads in shame as their message was ultimately lost under a steaming pile of worthless frat boy humour, dogs humping, Bad Boys 2 posters, Shia LaBeouf spazzing, gratuitous explosions and the meteoric rise and fall of Megan Fox’s celebrity.
Okay so I lied about the SDCC 2009 wrap-up “coming soon…” There wasn’t much to talk about in that trip anyways. In a few short sentences:
The hotel we stayed at was possibly housing celebrities. I had a few drinks and went looking for them one night to no avail. However, I did run into this guy. Which was cool.
Thomas Jane had another late night screening of one of his movies - Give ‘em Hell Malone. While we were waiting in line, Jane himself came out, barefoot, not quite in control of his faculties if you know what I mean (if you don’t know what I mean, I think he was drunk). He told us that we were watching a rough cut and wanted us to be brutally honest with him…although, I’m not sure what that would accomplish as it was a late screening and we were all obviously fans of his and would love it even if the movie was a video of him painting a fence for 80 minutes. Also, while in line, I got to talk to Jackie Earle Haley. He was coming out of a Watchmen function.
After the screening Thomas Jane got up on top of a table to try and talk to us while the SDCC redshirts tried to kick us all out. They had to convince him to come down from the table before he could fall and hurt himself. It was hilarious.
TL;DR: COOL STUFF HAPPENS AT COMIC-CON AFTER 10PM
In retrospect, I don’t think Jane was drunk. I think he’s just naturally like that. AKA: Awesome.
San Diego Comic-Con 2009 wrap up (with photos!) coming soon
